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But beyond that, my answer has to be ‘no comment’.”I felt I could be a bit more open with Jocelyn, and carefully so with Angie, but that really had to be the limit. Mom was a different story, and she knew everything so far - Jocelyn because we broadcast it; Becky because it was in the house; Emmy because Mom had guessed. But this wasn’t something to talk about with Liz, even without all her issues.“I decided to quit going to church,” Liz said, jolting me out of my thoughts.“What?! Why?”“I’m not you, Mikey. I just don’t believe like you and Mom do. Or even like Dad does. I don’t think God exists!”I took a deep breath and let it out.“I can’t tell you what to believe, but don’t lose hope. I saw what happened with Jocelyn.”“You think I’d do that?”“I’m obviously concerned. If you decide life is meaningless...” I shook my head, unable to continue that thought. “Promise you’ll call me if you ever feel like that? Promise me, Liz!”“I promise,” she said. “But I don’t want to die. I want to. I was amazed at some ofthe outfits women wore on the cover of Mademoiselle, and started takingfashion tips more seriously.Growing up I was never into peer pressure from other boys and didn'temulate any men that I was around. But now I felt like I was goingthrough some kind of adolescence, and found myself looking at the girlsin my classes in a whole new way. Now I was paying attention to theirclothes, their makeup, and the way they walked, talked and behaved witheach other.They seemed to be so comfortable with who they were, and also seemed tobe having fun being women.Slowly over a period of several weeks, I started to look at my maleclothes as super boring and just not something that I ever really wantedto wear anymore. I also began to see them as a barrier to me findingfriends and being less of a threat to the girls in my classes.I worked at listening to their conversations when I could, and knew thatsome of the guys in the classes where bothering some of the girls. Ofcourse some.
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